“COGNITIVE DISSONANCE”

 

 

A post-homiletical discourse delivered by the Rev. Dr. James R. Beebe

Rector, St. Patrick’s Church, Incline Village, Nevada, October 25,2009

 

 

     I was going to get up here this morning and talk about money, but that’s boring, so instead I think I’ll talk about golf.  Every golfer here has heard this story about mixed feelings and making tough decisions:   

 

For 35 years the same two married couples, the Smith’s and the Wilson’s, have played golf together every Saturday at 9:30 a.m. without ever missing a weekend. But one Saturday morning Mr. Wilson is seen by the starter showing up completely alone.   The starter asks him, "Will we not be seeing Mrs. Wilson today?".

 

"I'm afraid not, Mrs. Wilson has passed away suddenly!"

 

"I am very sorry to hear about that, sir.  And what about your close friends the Smiths?"

 

“They couldn’t make it today either – they’re both at the funeral."

 

     I’m sure that was a tough decision for Mr. Wilson.  I’m sure he was caught between the desire to mourn his wife’s passing and the desire to grip it and rip it.  You see, he really wanted to do both.  But Jesus himself actually had something to say on the subject.  In Luke he’s reported as saying, “No slave can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve wives and golf.”

 

     Of course, his critics heard this and, being golf aficionados themselves, ridiculed him.  So Jesus replied, “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of others; but God knows your hearts; for what is prized by human beings is an abomination in the sight of God.”

 

     The cognitive dissonance suffered by Mr. Wilson in choosing to tee off rather than go to his wife’s funeral must have been acute, indeed.  “Cognitive dissonance” is a phrase that’s used by psychologists to identify that uncomfortable feeling that we have when we try to uphold two contradictory ideas.  I’ll call it, “CD” from now on.

 

     Concern about relationships and golf is a major obstacle for us in accepting the words of Jesus about the character of the Kingdom of God.  Here are some symptoms:

 

1.             First, there’s an obsession with the game.  There’s a lot of anxiety.  Jesus told the parable about the scratch golfer who wanted yet another set of clubs, but he didn’t have the storage space.  So he decided to build an indoor simulator with a lot of extra room for his collection.  But God said to him, “You fool!  This very night your life is being demanded of you.  And this big, expensive add-on – whose will THAT be?”

 

2.            Second, there’s numbness.  It shows up in our relationships with others.  When you’re obsessive about golf, you just are not present for other people.  You’re self-absorbed and focused on your own needs.  Compassion is the first victim.  Jesus tells a story about a man who was mugged on the number four hole of the municipal course.  The first people to come across him – a twosome with an early tee time – couldn’t be bothered, so they played through.  It wasn’t until some caddy came across him that help was summoned.

 

3.            Third, CD is characterized by a split-consciousness.  On the one hand, you know you should be working on your relationship with your wife.  On the other hand, you just can’t quite make that happen.  So you create two entirely separate spheres of meaning – there’s the world of home and there’s the world of golf.  And never the twain shall meet.

 

So your interpersonal skills become atrophied and make less and less sense of your family ties.  The golf magazines actually promote this dualistic world view, too, in their zeal to hawk their wares. 

 

So what happens to your family relationships?  Well, they become idealized:  yes, you have this abstract and unreachable idea in your head that the only things that really matters in this lifetime are the people who love you.  So you put them on a pedestal, claiming them as of utmost importance, but interacting with them only in a certain time and place.  You have a sanitized spouse who gets cordoned off from the rest of your life, especially your time at the local links.

 

     Here’s the thing:  your golf game really needs to have an instrumental status.  In other words, golf is here and it’s good, but it’s good for the purpose of relaxation and socializing with friends.  Golf, in other words, is an essential servant.

 

     Remember Jesus’ temptations in the wilderness.  They happen right at the beginning of the Gospel According to Matthew, when he’s trying to figure out exactly what his mission in this world is.  The devil comes to him out there in the boonies and tempts him to be the good guy who puts on the ritz at the local country club BBQ and feeds starving golfers at the 19^th Hole.  But Jesus reminds him that human beings don’t live on BBQ alone.

 

     Well, that  didn’t work, so the devil goes on to the next one:  if you’re the Son of God, then wow the crowds with great feats of magic.  In other words, be a rock star, a celebrity like Paris Hilton or Brittany Spears.  Score holes in one on all 18!  But Jesus told him that he didn’t need that kind of notoriety, that his modest five handicap was good enough, thank you very much.

 

     So, as his last resort, the devil took him to a very high place, so he could survey all the golf courses of the world.  He told Jesus that he could play – no, own  -- all those beautiful championship courses.  But Jesus told him that his Dad came first, that he was his first priority.

 

     In all of these temptations, Jesus demonstrated what we might call a “unitary consciousness.  In other words, his single focus was his relationships.  They were always first.  He then emerged from the desert and began his assault on the split consciousness of Israel.  His mission was to point out their cognitive dissonance and cure those who were afflicted by it.

 

     And what, pray tell, was his “cure?”  (In all of this I want you to note that he didn’t take golf away from them.)  First, Jesus encouraged the people to move from numbness to compassion.  Maybe that twosome would have felt better about themselves had they helped the golfer in distress. 

 

     Second, he encouraged them to move from split consciousness to unitary consciousness – to decide, once and for all, that their lives would be given a lot more meaning if they focused on their relationship with their families.  After all, who cares about that addition full of golf clubs after your stroke?  Third, Jesus encouraged the people to move from self-reliance to a childlike trust in their partners’ love for them.  He called them to see the meaning of others in and of themselves.  He called them to see that golf, after all, was a gift given to them.

 

Well, that about wraps it up. 

Maybe next time, I’ll talk about money….